Breakin’ The Rules

Breakin’ The Rules

Breakin’ The Rules

I would not consider myself a risk-taker.  I like things safe and predictable.  I think most people would describe me as cautious and conservative.  One of my main goals in life is to NOT draw attention to myself or rock the proverbial boat in any way.  I am also not a rule breaker by nature.  I believe that rules have a purpose and there is wisdom in abiding by them.  Heck!  I even go pretty close to the speed limit most of the time!  Lol.

But friends, there is one exception.  I sneak yummies into the movie theater.  Oh, yeah, my family and I are always ladened with contraband, praying we don’t get caught (I don’t think God is much interested in protecting me as I break the rules, but it doesn’t hurt to try!).  And I don’t want to toot my own horn (but I will anyway), but I think I have this down to a science.  My family is repleat with food allergies and intolerances, so about the only thing we can get at the movie snack counter is a $5.99 bottle of water.

So, I am going to share with you some of my methods and tricks of the trade:)

  1. The “Droopy Drawers” Method:  With this method, me, my children, spouse and any guests we may have invited, start stuffing bags of dried fruit, all-natural gummies, packs of baby carrots and sodas made with Stevia, instead of corn syrup, into our pockets.  Hopefully, I have planned ahead well enough and asked everyone to wear long, untucked shirts.  We look like slobs but at least we have our treats and I just keep my fingers crossed that we don’t slosh too much when we walk.
  2. The “Stay-Puff Marshmallow” Method:  This method works best in the winter time.  It requires all individuals in our movie-going group to wear big, bulky coats.  Bags of Skinny Pop popcorn can be stuck under the arms, inside the coat.  Rock candy sticks can be stuck in mittens and there is still room for juice boxes in the coat pockets!  This gets a little awkward, though, when you run into a long, lost friend at the ticket counter, who wants to give you a big ol’ bear hug and your Skinny Pop, well…Pops.
  3. The “The Purse Dump”:  This method is messy but effective.  It requires that all the ladies of the family bring big purses (Not backpacks.  That would be too conspicuous).  The purses must either be brought empty to the theater or everything must be dumped out in the car.  Then it can be stuffed with packs of lunchmeat, all natural potato chips and bags of cotton candy.  Yes, it is true.  We have had whole meals in the theater!  We can not easily go out to dinner and if we are running short on time, into the mongo purses go sandwiches, and even pints of dairy-free ice cream and multiple spoons.
  4. The “Have Your Kid Do the Dirty Work” Method:  This method is pretty low, I have to admit.  But it stems from the fact that I gots ta have my coffee.  If I don’t have a cup of coffee in my hand, I am planning on how to get a cup of coffee in my hand.  It is truly the wind beneath my wings.  And much to my annoyance, I can get 20 kinds of craft beers at the theaters near our house, but I can’t get a cup of coffee. Actually, there might be one that serves coffee, but I think it is a 4 oz cup for like $12.49.  I can get a 24 oz one at McDonalds for .99 cents, so, yeah. ANYHOO! For this method, I hand my kid my coffee and expect her to walk right in with it in her hand.  While this is happening, I go to the ticket booth and pay for the tickets and then join my daughter and take over the contraband carrying.   Now, this only works if there is no one at the ticket-tearing stand (which happens about half of the time.  Yay me!).

So, there you go.  Some great pointers to keep from spending $75 for 4 small popcorns and 4 small sodas at the snack bar.  I have been asked to throw my coffee away a few times but the only time we were caught sneaking snacks into the theater was when they were doing a bomb check and asked me to open my over-sized handbag.  They literally looked into my purse filled with goodies, right there, you couldn’t miss them and said, “Ok, Just looking for bombs.”  They closed my purse, handed it back to me, tore our tickets and directed us to the theater playing our show.  Wow!  What a weird world we live in, when I am thankful for a bomb search, which allowed us to fly under the radar and take safe snacks into the movies.

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2 Comments
  • Rob says:

    There’s a 5th option: The Americans with Disability Act method. Carry in your snacks with your head held high, along with a printed copy of the Americans with Disability Act. Explain to them that your family cannot have the theater snacks due to food restrictions caused by a rare disease and that the Americans with Disability Act protects that right. While it may not extend to movie theaters per se, I don’t imagine many will fight it. Reading and comprehending that is above the pay grade of most movie theater ticket takers!
    **This is an untested method… but I bet it would probably work at least some of the time.

    • sarkfam4@gmail.com says:

      Hey, Rob! Smart thinking! With my luck, I would have to have a doctor’s note or something of the sort:( I will try your idea, though. It sounds a million times easier than what we do at the moment. So thankful you shared!

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